Monday, October 31, 2011
EPISTLE OF SEX III
Read Epistle of Sex I here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/note.php?note_id=10150333441261448
Read Epistle of Sex II here: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150341144516448
FIRST EPISTLE OF MATTHEW ON SEX
Chapter 3
1. I send greetings to you again in the name of our lord Jesus Christ. May His grace abide with you all
2. Remember, I said in my last letter that the message of this epistle is not to condemn you but to inform, guide, exhort and warn you
3. Who are you going to believe, a lie in truth’s clothing or the naked truth?
4. Today, we’ve been bombarded with several wrong and contradictory messages on sex,
5. Some say, ‘No sex unless you are protected’, others say ‘No sex unless you are older’, some also say ‘No sex unless you are in love’, others say ‘No sex unless you are matured’
6. All these are lies in truth’s clothing. The naked truth about sex is ‘No sex unless you are married’
7. Today our world is saturated with sex. Sex is used to sell everything from chocolate to tooth paste and even to items that has no correlation with sex.
8. Do not believe that not having sex kills because nobody has ever died for not having sex. I have yet to read the obituary section of a newspaper or an obituary bill where it says, ‘Matthew Adedoyin, 1987 – 2011, died of virginity or of not having sex’
9. Yet there are young people dying everyday because they bought into the lie that they can’t be expected to control their sexual urges
10. Having sex is a matter of choice, sometimes a very hard one, but it’s a choice under your complete control
11. Statistic had it that those who practice abstinence are more likely to have stable and enduring marriage as adults
12. And the happiest sex lives are found among those who wait until marriage to have sex and this requires self control and discipline
13. The Contemporary English version of the holy book said in proverbs 25: 28 that ‘loosing self control leaves you as helpless as a city without walls
14. My ladies, remember that I told you that guys has virtual libido, they are attracted to what they see. It isn’t their fault. It’s just the way they were made
15. Therefore, learn to dress modestly because your dressing is a reflection of who you are and the home you come from;
16. Steve Harris put it this way – You can’t be address like a prospect when you dress like a suspect. Have you ever seen a prostitute in the brothel on suit? No, it’s not possible because that will never attract her customers
17. Have you not been told in 1 Peter chapter 3 that you shouldn’t depend on things like fancy hairdos or gold jewelry or expensive clothes to make you look beautiful? (But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dress well)
18. Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet. This kind of beauty will last, and God considers it very special.
19. Long ago those women who worshiped God and put their hope in him made themselves beautiful by putting their husbands first.
20. Just like your virginal, your breast and buttock are your private parts. Do not make it public by flaunting it; keep it for your husband alone.
21. And again your breast, shape, hip or buttock is not an asset as some of you think.
22. If you think it is, go to the bank and use it as collateral for some loan and see if you will get anything
23. I am sorry if I am being too blunt for your liking. I can’t beat that, it’s already me
24. My guys, sex is not for singles, it is not meant for boys and girls at the back of a vehicle or a house that doesn’t even belong to you. It is meant for a man and a woman, only in a marriage environment.
25. It isn’t a convenient exchange. It is only animals that make love at convenience; but when you begin to make love at convenience, then you are an animal.
26. That lady/girl is not a sex object, stop treating her like one. You are supposed to protect her, care for her, love her, respect her and her feelings. She is not a car that you test before buying. She is a woman, not a punching bag or sex object
27. Be informed that the test or measure of a man is not his man hood or how many rounds he can go on a woman. The true measure of a man is Responsibility and Discipline
28. Joseph was an example of a true measure of a man. He had opportunity for free sex from his boss’ wife but he was responsible and discipline enough to escape and protect his destiny. I know some foolish ones will say he missed
29. Yeah, he missed, he missed being a local champion, he missed being used, he missed living in fear of being caught, he missed guilt, he missed destroying his reputation and integrity, he missed being emotionally stunted, he missed psychological trauma and he missed exchanging his future for pleasure
30. More so, if he had done it, he wouldn’t have found himself in the prison and he won’t eventually become a prime minister in a foreign land. He would have been a local champion in Potiphar’s house and perhaps he would have been eventually caught by Potiphar
31. Do not let me take much of your time with this as you might have something else you want to do but you can read again at your leisure time. It won’t be long before I write to you again. May the grace of God continue to live with you
Thanks.
Apostle of Sexology
[For the lady who called me yesterday that my messages are the reason she is still a virgin: Please, stay that way until you are married.
For all Abstinence advocate like myself: I believe our generation will raise sex – pure leaders, let’s keep preaching the message]
Friday, October 28, 2011
Thanks to helpers of destiny
After receiving several text messages and calls yesterday, I went into a deep thought. I was thinking about who I was and who I am now and who I want to be
I am the first to admit that the first twenty years of my life wasn’t the real me, but the corrections I have made within the last four years has make most of the wrongs right. During the first twenty years, I know I am not being real to myself but because I lack good substance inside of me, I gave in to pressure.
Lakita Garth said in one of her books that people are like the soda cans. What happens when you squeeze an empty soda can? It gets crushed. Why? Because the pressure on the outside of the can is greater than the pressure on the inside. The inverse is true as well. What happens when you squeeze a full soda can that’s still sealed on top? It can’t be crushed. Why? Because the pressure on the inside of the can is greater than the pressure on the outside.
People use peer pressure as an excuse for bad behaviour when in fact they are simply empty of any true substance. Whenever they are subjected to any pressure from the wrong people to do the wrong thing at the wrong in the wrong place, they collapse. Peer pressure is nothing more than a lack of character.
Yesterday made it the 24th year that I have been on earth but I am only four years old. Four years of being relevant, four years of being responsible. I celebrated four years of doing what God really called me to do.
I am writing this note to appreciate several people whom God has brought my way, some of whom the lord used to lay foundation; and others to build. You have really impacted my life and ministry.
Till your death, I only know you as mummy Tolani: You first recognized the call of God in my life when you were our children teacher at World Merciful Gospel Mission. At the tender age of ten, you gave me necessary encouragement, motivation and the joy of answering God’s call. Thank you ma. May your soul rest in peace
Pastor Ayooluwa Olalere: You picked me up where mummy Tolani dropped me. Though I turned weird and went astray, but because I was afraid you will chastise me if I don’t do your bible study Assignments, learn the memory verses, read the psalms and learn the books of the bible, I never stopped coming to church.
My grandma, Deaconess Abigail Adedoyin: You confirmed my calling and told me I was not too young to work for God. I know you are happy now seeing me do what is expected of me. Mama, e ma dagba, e ma dogbo, eyin le ma jeun wa loruko Jesu.
Dr. D.K. Olukoya: I am amazed and challenged by the depth of your knowledge and insight. The combination of your anointing with humility posed a great challenge to me. The unction in which you function is simply mind blowing.
Ronke Kosoko: This appreciation will never be complete if your name is exempted. After my encounter with you in 2008, my life took a new dimension. Your book, power of responsibility causes a revolutionary transformation in my life. Ma, I’ll forever be grateful.
My parents, Mr. and Mrs. Olabode Adedoyin Ajiboye: Thank you for tolerating me in those years when I was acting like a bastard. You are the best parents in the world.
My Uncle, Timothy Adedoyin: a role model and a mentor. Your life is simply the kind I pray for. Your generosity and philanthropical act incomparable. If every Uncle in the world can be like you, the world would have been a better place.
My best friends: Anthony Anike and Fidelia Ezeme: You guys are the best. Your companionship makes me feel like writing everything down. Thanks for always being there. I owe you both my life.
I want to specially thank everybody that has added value to my life in one way or the other: ‘femi Owolabi Success, Pst. Damilola Oluwatoyinbo, Olumide Bisiriyu, Dayo Ayeni, Pst. Victor Olukoju, Florence Omolara, Mrs. Funke Ogungbesan, Obinna Echendu, Emmanuel Oladiji, Kabiru Sunkanmi, Mrs. Eucharia Ezeme, John Anene, All the CSC guys in Unilag, Mr. Muftau Oyinloye, Ayanfeoluwa Lawal, Chinenye Ilondu. Thanks to you all.
Special thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Adetunji Bello for being there whenever I call, God’s favour will never depart from your family, Jide Falaki for being a true friend and brother, Adenimi Omotere – I can say it with my last breadth that I love you, Ayobami Familua, for being a wonderful friend and sister, those things I promised in the letter I sent you last year are very much in my heart, Samson Bakare for being a naughty brother.
To all members of Maximum Impact Network: I am glad to be identified with you and finally to my siblings: Busayo, Jumoke, Peter and Enoch – Thank you for your support and encouragement.
And to you for finding out time to read this. God bless you.
Thanks.
Matthew Adedoyin
[For all my destiny helpers, including those I forgot to mention their names]
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
24 Things about me
24 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME
1. My names are Matthew Oluwafemi Olaoluwa Ayodele Adedoyin – Ajiboye
2. I was born on Tuesday, 27th October, 1987
3. I am from Edidi, Isin Local Government Area, Kwara State, Nigeria
4. Favourite Food: Fufu and Egusi – Bring it anytime, any day, anywhere
5. Favourite Drink: Palm wine and Star Lager Beer(Before), Water (Now)
6. Favourite Music: Juju and Fuji Music
7. Favourite Artistes: Adewale Ayuba, Evang. Ebenezer Obey Fabiyi, Saheed Osupa, Taiye and Kehinde Adegbodu, Shola Allyson Obaniyi, Tope Alabi, Ifemioluwa Olalere, Segun Blessing, Walex, Lord of Ajasa, Olamide, Faze and D’banj
8. Hobbies: Talking, Computing and Reading
9. Best Friends: Male – Anthony Chinomso Anike, Female – Fidelia Chinenye Ezeme
10. I was born, bred and grew up in Mosafejo – Amukoko, Ajegunle, Lagos
11. I am single and searching
12. Mentors/Role Models: Timothy Adedoyin, Dr. D.K. Olukoya, John C. Maxwell, Lakita Garth, ‘femi Owolabi Success, Damilola Oluwatoyinbo, Taiwo Emmanuel Olushola
13. I am the visionary of Maximum Impact Network, an organization founded to raise sex – pure leaders
14. Nick Names: Apostle of Sexology, Mr. Pure Sex
15. I love communicating – Talking, writing, preaching, teaching etc
16. I am the CEO of Link – Hints Computer Centre
17. I am blunt and I appreciate bluntness
18. (a) I hate talkative especially when they are not making sense (b) I don’t waste time on fools, that is why I don’t give answer to many of their questions
19. I was sexually abused by someone who claimed to be a school mother at age 12
20. I was a drummer for a local kegite club in Ajegunle
21. I became an interpreter (Translator) in church at the age of 11
22. (a) I started taking alcohol at 15, became addicted to sex at 17 and smoked Indian hemp for about 1 month at 20. I was doing these three until my encounter with a lady in July, 2007. Though regrettable but turned my life to what it is today. (b) Despite doing the three things in 22(a), I still attend church regularly, interpret frequently (Only when I am not high) and people still call me by the name ‘Pastor’
23. I intend to marry a wife and have three children just like my uncle, Timothy Adedoyin
24. I am a teacher of the word with callings on Sexual Purity, Leadership and Self development
Thanks.
I stay committed to Sexual Purity
Adedoyin ‘femi Matthew
[For myself as I mark my 24th year of existence and 4th year of relevance and taking responsibility for my life]
Monday, October 24, 2011
EPISTLE OF SEX II
FIRST EPISTLE OF MATTHEW ON SEX
Chapter Two
1. Let he who has ears hear the word of wisdom from the throne of heaven
2. Sex is good, in fact it is very good because it was originated by God and all what God created were and are good
3. but abusing sex either in a pre – marital way or extra – marital way is what made it a sin
4. Have you not been taught in the holy book that the bed of marriage should be undefiled?
5. Therefore, to avoid fornication, let every man have a wife of his own and every woman a husband of her own
6. My friend Josephine Isang once said: You don’t need CONDOM, you need CONDUCT and that’s absolutely true
7. Anthony Anike paraphrased it to mean: If you are not married, you don’t need SEX, you need SENSE
8. But a dog who is destined to be lost will never yield to the call of the hunter
9. One thing I am very sure of is that the quantity of sex does not make a relationship valid. It is the quality of relationship that makes sex valid
10. Pastor Bimbo Odukoya of blessed memory said in one of her books that the more you satisfy a man with sex outside marriage or before marriage, the less his need for marriage
11. Therefore, my brethren, the most appropriate occasion to have sex for the first time is not when you are matured but when you are married
12. Do not be deceived that with BIRTH CONTROL you cannot get pregnant, the only sure way of not getting pregnant is SELF CONTROL
13. I do not write this epistle to condemn anybody but to remind us what Apostle Paul said in his first epistle to the corinthians
14. I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people
15. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the lord and the lord for the body
16. Let me remind you that you are bought with a price and your bodies are members of Christ
17. Also be informed that sexual sin is a sin against your own body as it was written in 1 Corinthians 6:18
18. Sexual sin also aborts one’s destiny. Reuben, Jacob’s first child is a case study
19. Reuben’s (a man with bright future) destiny was terminated after he was cursed by his father because he slept with his father’s wife (Genesis 49: 3 – 4)
20. Ladies, using sex to get love is wrong, it only results to guilt, emotional and psychological trauma, disgrace, embarrassment, pregnancy, HIV and other STDs
21. Do not define sex as love because it is not. Anybody can sleep with you but that doesn’t mean they love you.
22. The prostitutes at the brothel are a typical example. If sex is love, prostitutes would have been the happiest people in life – Loved by many and still get paid
23. If anyone tells you to sleep with him or her as a demonstration of love, all he/she is saying is ‘I LOVE IT’ and not you
24. Any man who forces you to remove your clothes doesn’t love or respect you
25. Great people of character do the right thing not because they always want to change the world, but because they refuse to be changed by the corrupt world
26. The mighty have fallen, leaders have been destroyed, positive influencers have turned negative, destinies have been aborted, anointing have dried off, all because of five minutes enjoyment
27. I have told you times without number that sex is meant for Re – Creation (Creating new being or offspring) and not Recreation (Leisure activity)
28. Also, noble men want the desirable lady and not the available. And great men think with their mind and not their penis
29. I will keep praying for you, writing to you and reminding you about the danger of pre – marital sex as I have promised
30. Remember, this is not an epistle of condemnation. It is an epistle inspired by God to warn, remind, teach, guide, exhort and inform us about sexual purity and its advantages.
31. It won’t be long before I write to you again. I leave you with the grace of God
Yours in Christ
Apostle of Sexology
[For Olumide Bisiriyu for giving the the opportunity to perform this on his 30th Birthday and for all october celebrants]
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
EPISTLE OF SEX
EPISTLE OF SEX
First Epistle of Matthew on Sex
Chapter One
1. Matthew Adedoyin, called to be an Apostle of Sexology through the will of God to the people of the world who the destiny of their lives matters to them
2. Grace to you and peace from God and our lord Jesus Christ who gave himself for our sins
3. That he may deliver us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.
4. I marvel at the way sex is being abused in our generation and our religious leaders tend to pretend as if it’s normal or normal
5. Be informed that God’s real purpose for sex was not pleasure but reproduction. The fact it was pleasurable offered the necessary incentive to undertake the activity
6. As an added feature, God gave men a reproductive organ with a mind if its own. One that did not always and necessarily obey the command from God.
7. If God says to the organ “Wait, take it easy, and Get to know him/her” especially when you meet a nice and cute girl or boy and there’s attraction, whether you like it or not the reproductive circuit also switched on and it sends really powerful signals.
8. However, God made us sexual being and it is normal to feel sexual urge, therefore, denying it can be disastrous
9. Be also reminded that we are wired differently, Men have high sexual urge than women, since women have more unwanted side effect, they tend to be cautious when they remember this
10. It has been concluded by scientists that women achieve most sexual satisfaction through stimulation of their brain not any other organ,
11. therefore, your greatest sex organ is your brain(mind) and not you penis or virginal
12. Pfizer’s, (the company behind Viagra) exhaustive research has led to the conclusion that men and women have a fundamentally different relationship between arousal and desire
13. The women’s arousal is triggered by a network of emotional, intellectual and relationship – based factors rather than the simple physical response required by a man,
14. while a man’s arousal almost led to a desire for sex
15. Men consistently get erections seeing a nude woman and want to have sex but with women, things depend on a myriad of factors – emotion, communication, mutual understanding
16. I can also say with every assurance that women has emotional libido, while men is visual in nature, that’s why the whole porn industry is geared towards men and the romance industry is geared towards women
17. Guys, do I still need to remind you that ladies/women need affection, understanding, emotion, protection, attention after which sex may follow but only in a marital environment?
18. Also, marriage should be between a man and a woman that was man God created Adam and Eve, and not Adam and Steve
19. Which means gayism, lesbianism, incest and other sexual perversions are sinful to God and can abort one’s destiny
20. Praise Fowowe, a senior sex preacher has define Sex as a covenant exchange between a man and a woman in a marriage environment for the purpose of unity and procreation
21. Do not believe that wrong saying which states that “Virginity is not dignity, it’s just lack of opportunity” I can authoritatively tell you that there’s no dignity, pride and virtue as your virginity
22. Therefore, it is not something to be ashamed of but to be proud and boastfully tell people that you are one
23. Sex is powerful but not impossible to control
24. And have you not been told in the greatest book of life that if you can’t control your spirit, you are like a city with broken walls which enemies can attack easily
25. Sexual sin kills according to 1 Corinthians 10:8 and it also shipwreck leaders as it was written in Proverbs 31:3
26. An article written by a friend Olumide Bisiriyu also confirmed that sexual sin is the reason for terrorism, He used the case of Abraham, Hagar and Ishmael as an example
27. Also be not deceived that not having sex kills because it does not. It keeps you safe and away from the fear of unwanted pregnancy, STDs etc
28. Finally my brethren, there’s more to love than sexual intercourse
29. Do not let me bore you with a whole lot of stories
30. I will keep praying for you, writing to you and reminding you about the danger in Sex before marriage. May the grace of our lord Jesus Christ remain and abide with you.
[For Olaoluwa Usman who advised me to write an Epistle on sex,
For Ayanfeoluwa Lawal, an astute abstinence advocate
And for my new friend Akinmusere Kemi who is so passionate about Sexual Purity. I saw the passion during our little discussion in Tolulope Olalekan’s car all the way from Elegushi down to Mushin on Sunday]
First Epistle of Matthew on Sex
Chapter One
1. Matthew Adedoyin, called to be an Apostle of Sexology through the will of God to the people of the world who the destiny of their lives matters to them
2. Grace to you and peace from God and our lord Jesus Christ who gave himself for our sins
3. That he may deliver us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.
4. I marvel at the way sex is being abused in our generation and our religious leaders tend to pretend as if it’s normal or normal
5. Be informed that God’s real purpose for sex was not pleasure but reproduction. The fact it was pleasurable offered the necessary incentive to undertake the activity
6. As an added feature, God gave men a reproductive organ with a mind if its own. One that did not always and necessarily obey the command from God.
7. If God says to the organ “Wait, take it easy, and Get to know him/her” especially when you meet a nice and cute girl or boy and there’s attraction, whether you like it or not the reproductive circuit also switched on and it sends really powerful signals.
8. However, God made us sexual being and it is normal to feel sexual urge, therefore, denying it can be disastrous
9. Be also reminded that we are wired differently, Men have high sexual urge than women, since women have more unwanted side effect, they tend to be cautious when they remember this
10. It has been concluded by scientists that women achieve most sexual satisfaction through stimulation of their brain not any other organ,
11. therefore, your greatest sex organ is your brain(mind) and not you penis or virginal
12. Pfizer’s, (the company behind Viagra) exhaustive research has led to the conclusion that men and women have a fundamentally different relationship between arousal and desire
13. The women’s arousal is triggered by a network of emotional, intellectual and relationship – based factors rather than the simple physical response required by a man,
14. while a man’s arousal almost led to a desire for sex
15. Men consistently get erections seeing a nude woman and want to have sex but with women, things depend on a myriad of factors – emotion, communication, mutual understanding
16. I can also say with every assurance that women has emotional libido, while men is visual in nature, that’s why the whole porn industry is geared towards men and the romance industry is geared towards women
17. Guys, do I still need to remind you that ladies/women need affection, understanding, emotion, protection, attention after which sex may follow but only in a marital environment?
18. Also, marriage should be between a man and a woman that was man God created Adam and Eve, and not Adam and Steve
19. Which means gayism, lesbianism, incest and other sexual perversions are sinful to God and can abort one’s destiny
20. Praise Fowowe, a senior sex preacher has define Sex as a covenant exchange between a man and a woman in a marriage environment for the purpose of unity and procreation
21. Do not believe that wrong saying which states that “Virginity is not dignity, it’s just lack of opportunity” I can authoritatively tell you that there’s no dignity, pride and virtue as your virginity
22. Therefore, it is not something to be ashamed of but to be proud and boastfully tell people that you are one
23. Sex is powerful but not impossible to control
24. And have you not been told in the greatest book of life that if you can’t control your spirit, you are like a city with broken walls which enemies can attack easily
25. Sexual sin kills according to 1 Corinthians 10:8 and it also shipwreck leaders as it was written in Proverbs 31:3
26. An article written by a friend Olumide Bisiriyu also confirmed that sexual sin is the reason for terrorism, He used the case of Abraham, Hagar and Ishmael as an example
27. Also be not deceived that not having sex kills because it does not. It keeps you safe and away from the fear of unwanted pregnancy, STDs etc
28. Finally my brethren, there’s more to love than sexual intercourse
29. Do not let me bore you with a whole lot of stories
30. I will keep praying for you, writing to you and reminding you about the danger in Sex before marriage. May the grace of our lord Jesus Christ remain and abide with you.
[For Olaoluwa Usman who advised me to write an Epistle on sex,
For Ayanfeoluwa Lawal, an astute abstinence advocate
And for my new friend Akinmusere Kemi who is so passionate about Sexual Purity. I saw the passion during our little discussion in Tolulope Olalekan’s car all the way from Elegushi down to Mushin on Sunday]
Saturday, September 17, 2011
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX
Good day,
Few months ago, I announced that Maximum Impact Network would be holding a three month special program titled SEX TALK with Matthew Adedoyin and I promised to put everything I discussed in writing and post it on facebook and on my blog.
The event started on the 28th of August and the first teaching was WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX.
Sit back, relax and enjoy this little piece
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX
Sex is:
a covenant exchange of two people in marriage environment for the purpose of unity and procreation.
the difference between a male and female gender
physical, psychological, spiritual and emotional in nature
risky; you can get pregnant, get a sexually transmitted disease, have your heart broken or ego bruised, or feel let down and disappointed when it is over
a process; you only get one chance to loose your virginity
good
meant for Re – Creation (Creating new offspring)
Sex is NOT:
a way to make somebody love you or make a commitment to you
a test of your love for your partner
a measure of how mature or grown up you are
a good way to assert independence
recreation (Refreshment of the mind and body after work) or a leisure activity
an event; it don’t just happen (unless you are a victim rape)
commitment or intimacy. If sex create commitment, then those prostitutes should have a lot of commitment from the different people who sleep with them and still get paid.
Facts you must know
God is the originator of sex. He made us sexual being. Therefore, it is normal to feel sexual urge. If sometimes you feel like having sex, don’t think something is wrong with you because it is normal to feel so except you are just a pack of wood that doesn’t have blood, water, feelings, emotion etc.
In his book, ‘Sex Straight talk’, Sam Adeyemi told a story of a young man who became born again and was zealous for God. He found out to his dismay that as prayerful and spiritual as he was, he still was sexually aroused, and was being tormented, so he said, by thoughts of women. One day he locked himself in his room and sliced off his penis, because he took literally what Jesus said that if your hand would hinder you from getting to heaven, cut it off.
The guy didn’t envisage the grave consequences of his action. He was alone in the room and was soon bleeding profusely with pain. Afraid he might die suddenly, he screamed for attention.
Neighbours got him quickly to hospital where newsmen found him. “Why did you do this to yourself,” they asked him. His sexual thoughts were troubling him from serving God, he said.
This is a case of a man trying to deny his sexuality. We shouldn’t deny who we are – Sexual Beings. Attraction between the opposite sexes is natural and normal. Rather than deny or pretend about our sexuality, we should accept it and then learn what to do to manage it.
Your most important sex organ is your mind. If you gain control of your mind, then you have gained control of your life
The quantity of sex does not make a relationship valid. It is the quality of the relationship that makes sex valid.
Sex is powerful but not impossible to control
The most appropriate occasion to have sex for the first time is not when you are matured but when you are married
Sex is not meant for boys and girls, it is meant for men and women in a marriage environment
Unless you want to get pregnant, you must practice abstinence. Don’t let anyone tell you that with BIRTH CONTROL you cannot get pregnant – that’s a lie. The only sure way of not getting pregnant is SELF CONTROL.
The most popular mentioned and used birth control tool is condom. To listen to sex educators you would think condom is a safe and effective way to prevent pregnancy and STDs. Everyday sex education classes promote condoms as a means of safe sex or at least safer sex. But the research on condoms provides no such guarantee. It’s no longer news that condoms are only 87 percent effective in preventing pregnancy and 69 percent effective in reducing the risk of HIV infection. And according to a study in the 1992 Family Planning Perspectives, 15 percents of married couples who use condoms for birth control end up with an unplanned pregnancy within the first year and 36 percent within the second year.
Again also, I posted on my facebook wall few months ago about a guy who called me he was at one of our event early this year, where I spoke on SAFE SEX. He called and said, “I started having sex at 18 and now I’m 27, I just called to let you know that I agree with the fact that condoms are not safe; my three living kids and two aborted babies were all conceived while I was using condoms”. Then what is safe about birth control?
The only protection against Sexually transmitted diseases is living the abstinence lifestyle
You can get pregnant or catch Sexually transmitted infections the very first time you have sex, even if you use protection
Nobody has ever died from not having sex. I have yet to read the obituary section of the newspaper or an obituary bill which says “Gone Too soon, Matthew Adedoyin, 1987 – 2011, died of virginity. Yet there are young people dying because they bought into the lie that they can’t be expected to control their sexual urge.
Sex is a progression. It doesn’t just happen unless you are a victim of rape
The more time you spend listening to music with sexually degrading lyrics, the more likely you are to initiate intercourse and other sexual activities.
Finally, the best motivational and inspirational book I’ve ever read – The bible stated it clear that our body is the temple of the living God. Therefore It must not be defiled which means Pre – Marital Sex (Fornication) and Extra – Marital Sex (Adultery) is not just sin against God, it is also a sin against your body.
Thanks.
I love you.
Stay Chaste.
Adedoyin Matthew
(Visionary, Maximum Impact Network)
[For the two corpers who were caught having sex at the NYSC Camp in Ilorin and for all my friends who still don’t believe in my course….. just want you to know ‘Abstinence lifestyle pays’ It keeps you from safe STDs, unwanted pregnancy, emotional and psychological trauma, problems, bruised ego, broken heart, abortion etc]
Few months ago, I announced that Maximum Impact Network would be holding a three month special program titled SEX TALK with Matthew Adedoyin and I promised to put everything I discussed in writing and post it on facebook and on my blog.
The event started on the 28th of August and the first teaching was WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX.
Sit back, relax and enjoy this little piece
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX
Sex is:
a covenant exchange of two people in marriage environment for the purpose of unity and procreation.
the difference between a male and female gender
physical, psychological, spiritual and emotional in nature
risky; you can get pregnant, get a sexually transmitted disease, have your heart broken or ego bruised, or feel let down and disappointed when it is over
a process; you only get one chance to loose your virginity
good
meant for Re – Creation (Creating new offspring)
Sex is NOT:
a way to make somebody love you or make a commitment to you
a test of your love for your partner
a measure of how mature or grown up you are
a good way to assert independence
recreation (Refreshment of the mind and body after work) or a leisure activity
an event; it don’t just happen (unless you are a victim rape)
commitment or intimacy. If sex create commitment, then those prostitutes should have a lot of commitment from the different people who sleep with them and still get paid.
Facts you must know
God is the originator of sex. He made us sexual being. Therefore, it is normal to feel sexual urge. If sometimes you feel like having sex, don’t think something is wrong with you because it is normal to feel so except you are just a pack of wood that doesn’t have blood, water, feelings, emotion etc.
In his book, ‘Sex Straight talk’, Sam Adeyemi told a story of a young man who became born again and was zealous for God. He found out to his dismay that as prayerful and spiritual as he was, he still was sexually aroused, and was being tormented, so he said, by thoughts of women. One day he locked himself in his room and sliced off his penis, because he took literally what Jesus said that if your hand would hinder you from getting to heaven, cut it off.
The guy didn’t envisage the grave consequences of his action. He was alone in the room and was soon bleeding profusely with pain. Afraid he might die suddenly, he screamed for attention.
Neighbours got him quickly to hospital where newsmen found him. “Why did you do this to yourself,” they asked him. His sexual thoughts were troubling him from serving God, he said.
This is a case of a man trying to deny his sexuality. We shouldn’t deny who we are – Sexual Beings. Attraction between the opposite sexes is natural and normal. Rather than deny or pretend about our sexuality, we should accept it and then learn what to do to manage it.
Your most important sex organ is your mind. If you gain control of your mind, then you have gained control of your life
The quantity of sex does not make a relationship valid. It is the quality of the relationship that makes sex valid.
Sex is powerful but not impossible to control
The most appropriate occasion to have sex for the first time is not when you are matured but when you are married
Sex is not meant for boys and girls, it is meant for men and women in a marriage environment
Unless you want to get pregnant, you must practice abstinence. Don’t let anyone tell you that with BIRTH CONTROL you cannot get pregnant – that’s a lie. The only sure way of not getting pregnant is SELF CONTROL.
The most popular mentioned and used birth control tool is condom. To listen to sex educators you would think condom is a safe and effective way to prevent pregnancy and STDs. Everyday sex education classes promote condoms as a means of safe sex or at least safer sex. But the research on condoms provides no such guarantee. It’s no longer news that condoms are only 87 percent effective in preventing pregnancy and 69 percent effective in reducing the risk of HIV infection. And according to a study in the 1992 Family Planning Perspectives, 15 percents of married couples who use condoms for birth control end up with an unplanned pregnancy within the first year and 36 percent within the second year.
Again also, I posted on my facebook wall few months ago about a guy who called me he was at one of our event early this year, where I spoke on SAFE SEX. He called and said, “I started having sex at 18 and now I’m 27, I just called to let you know that I agree with the fact that condoms are not safe; my three living kids and two aborted babies were all conceived while I was using condoms”. Then what is safe about birth control?
The only protection against Sexually transmitted diseases is living the abstinence lifestyle
You can get pregnant or catch Sexually transmitted infections the very first time you have sex, even if you use protection
Nobody has ever died from not having sex. I have yet to read the obituary section of the newspaper or an obituary bill which says “Gone Too soon, Matthew Adedoyin, 1987 – 2011, died of virginity. Yet there are young people dying because they bought into the lie that they can’t be expected to control their sexual urge.
Sex is a progression. It doesn’t just happen unless you are a victim of rape
The more time you spend listening to music with sexually degrading lyrics, the more likely you are to initiate intercourse and other sexual activities.
Finally, the best motivational and inspirational book I’ve ever read – The bible stated it clear that our body is the temple of the living God. Therefore It must not be defiled which means Pre – Marital Sex (Fornication) and Extra – Marital Sex (Adultery) is not just sin against God, it is also a sin against your body.
Thanks.
I love you.
Stay Chaste.
Adedoyin Matthew
(Visionary, Maximum Impact Network)
[For the two corpers who were caught having sex at the NYSC Camp in Ilorin and for all my friends who still don’t believe in my course….. just want you to know ‘Abstinence lifestyle pays’ It keeps you from safe STDs, unwanted pregnancy, emotional and psychological trauma, problems, bruised ego, broken heart, abortion etc]
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
ABORTION: CAUSES, METHODS AND CONSEQUENCES
ABORTION: METHODS, CAUSES AND CONSEQUENCES
Abortion is an operation or other intervention to end a pregnancy by removing an embryo or fetus from the womb. It is the deliberate termination of a human pregnancy or the natural expulsion of a fetus from womb before it is able to survive independently.
Abortion is not just the killing of fetus; it is the murder of a living thing – your child.
It’s hard to believe that we actually murder Children. And why? Mostly for the convenience’s sake. We don’t want to be bothered by emotional trauma or physical discomfort or public humiliation.
Look at some children around you today. This is who you are killing when you get abortion – not things, not even masses of tissue with potential. We are talking about lives with souls.
Did you know that at about:
18 days – the mouth of the baby begin to open
24 days – arms and legs begin to take shape
42 days – fingers are forming on the hand
67 days – hair is now growing
75 days – the baby is seeing.
If a miracle like this is growing inside you, how could killing it even be an option? In his book “Sex: It’s worth waiting for”, Greg Speck says: “Do you know what I wish for? I wish people had a little window to the womb. If people could only see babies in the womb, babies that are connected to their mothers, they wouldn’t so quickly take a life away from them”.
At least 50 percent of all individuals who go into an abortion clinic never come out alive. They say it’s a safe procedure for mothers, but it’s deadly for your baby.
CAUSES OF ABORTION
1. Fear for financial difficulty to raise the child
2. Fear to what people or parents might think or say
3. Fear to the 9 months of pregnancy and to the pain during the labor
4. health problems
5. Rape
6. Hormonal contraceptives and so many more
7. Unwanted pregnancy: Let me emphasize that I don’t believe any pregnancy is unwanted for singles because if you don’t want it, you wouldn’t involve yourself in sex whether protected or not. The only means I believe, of not getting pregnant is by staying chaste.
The main problem of abortion is psychological and is fear.
Although, some of these causes might look genuine but it is never a reason why you should kill your own baby or why you should advice someone to terminate a life.
METHODS OF ABORTION
Would you like to know what your child goes through if he/she is aborted? (I didn’t use “it” because; it is meant for animals but your child is human). Here is some info, but let me first warn you that this isn’t pretty, and reading about these methods could cause some emotional trauma, especially if you or someone you know has already had an abortion. If you know you might not be able to stand the pain reading these methods of abortion could bring, I would advice you shouldn’t bother going far, you can stop at this point.
Ways to do abortion
1. SUCTION ASPIRATION: The abortionist first paralyzes the cervix (womb opening). He then inserts a hollow plastic tube with knife – like tip into the uterus. The tube is connected to a powerful with a suction force 29 times more powerful than a home vacuum cleaner. The procedure tears the baby’s body into pieces and hose the frequency jerks as pieces of the baby become lodged. The placenta is then cut from the inner wall of the uterus and the scraps are sucked out into a bottle. As the baby head can’t pass through the womb, it is introduced into the womb an instrument that compresses the little head and then takes it out.
2. DILATATION AND CURETAGE: This is similar to the suction aspiration except that the abortionist inserts a curette (a hook – shaped steel knife) into the uterus, which is used to cut the baby into pieces. The baby is then smashed and scraped from the wall of the uterus out through the cervix and discarded. As you can imagine, bleeding is usually profuse.
3. DILATATION AND EVACUATION: This method is usually performed after the third month. Instead of the hook – shaped knife usually used in D&C abortions, a pair forceps (just like the shape of pliers) is inserted into the womb to grasp part of the fetus. The teeth of the forceps twist and tear the bones of the unborn child. This process is repeated until the fetus is totally dismembered and remove. Usually the spine must be snapped and the skull crushed in order to remove them.
4. SAALINE INJECTION (SALT POISONING): This procedure is usually done after four months. Why? Because a certain amount of fluid needs to have built up in the sac around the baby. A long needle is thrust through the abdomen into the sac. The abortionist will suck out some of the fluid and then inject a salt solution. The baby will swallow this.
The child starts to jerk and kick, suffering severely because they are literally being burned alive by the solution inside the womb. If there ever ought to be a safe, protected place, it should be the womb. I wish both parents had to watch this procedure.
It will take the child more than an hour to die. If the woman has been pregnant for five months or longer, she will feel the baby fighting and kicking to live.
Usually within 24 hours, she will go into labor and deliver this tortured baby, dead, with skin burned away. But there is another problem. After all that suffering, the baby may still be born alive. Imagine wanting to live that much. The abortionist will sometimes take this poor burned baby and place it in a corner unattended to. Many times they will place a towel over the baby’s face to induce suffocation, so that the baby will die. I think in other situations we would call this murder.
5. PROSTAGLADIN ABORTION: This is a hormone that induces labor. This form of abortion uses chemicals which cause the uterus to contract intensely, pushing out the developing baby. The contractions are more violent than normal natural contractions, so the baby dies from trauma of delivery. Many, however, have also been born alive.
6. RU – 486: This is a drug that produces an abortion taken after the mother misses her period. Its effect is to block a crucial hormone that causes the uterine lining to no longer provide food, fluid, and oxygen to the baby. Without this hormone the baby can’t survive. When the abortion is complete the mother will see a tiny blob of tissue – her baby. (Note that RU – 486 is not a contraceptive because it does not prevent fertilization or implantation. It is used only after the mother missed her period and the baby is at least two to three weeks old).
I hope you see how sick and wrong is it to abort your baby. This is like a medieval torture. Notice that I do not call these people that perform abortions doctors, because doctor takes a pledge to protect life, and these people make a living by killing babies. (They are murderers).
CONSEQUENCES OF ABORTION
Physical Consequences:
1. Drugs containing RU – 486 can cause liver damage, kidney destruction, heart muscle compromise, pulmonary failure, gastrointestinal pathology, and bone marrow suppression. It has also been reported to cause loss of speech function, strokes, and convulsion.
2. An increase risk of breast, cervical, ovarian and liver cancer
3. Complications, such as uterine perforation, cervical laceration, and placenta previa can not only cause very severe problems, but they can also lead to problems in future pregnancies, such as miscarriages, premature births, fetal deaths and children born with handicaps because any problem or change with a woman’s reproductive organ may affect the development of her children.
4. Infection, including pelvic inflammatory disease, occurs in 30% of abortions; if not stopped soon enough, they can leave a woman barren.
5. Tremendous increase in the level of promiscuity and sexually transmitted diseases
6. Up to 127% risk for premature births in subsequent pregnancies; the rate is higher with multiple abortions
7. Death
Psychological consequences
1. Diminished respect for human life
2. Denial, guilt, sadness, and grieving at the death of the aborted baby that would be a woman’s natural, feminine feelings and emotions
3. Psychological reactions like alcoholism, smoking, drug abuse, sexual addictions, and self destructive behavior.
4. Post abortion syndrome: depression to suicide or attempted suicide
5. Overwhelming feelings of regret or guilt during later pregnancies
6. Flashback and nightmares
7. Destruction of trust between men and women
8. Increased rates of divorce, domestic violence and child abuse
9. feelings of guilt or regret among fathers
To read more about methods of abortion, visit www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/ or www.anael.org/english/abortion/
Thanks.
I love you
@ Maximum Impact Network, we vote for Sexual Purity
Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew
(Visionary, Maximum Impact Network)
DEDICATION
[To every girls, ladies, women who had one time or the other commit abortion
To every ladies who are thinking of getting an abortion
To every guys who see abortion as the best option of not being a teenage father
To every abortionist who takes lives without having a rethink
To every parents who advice, suggest, support abortion for themselves or their children]
Abortion is an operation or other intervention to end a pregnancy by removing an embryo or fetus from the womb. It is the deliberate termination of a human pregnancy or the natural expulsion of a fetus from womb before it is able to survive independently.
Abortion is not just the killing of fetus; it is the murder of a living thing – your child.
It’s hard to believe that we actually murder Children. And why? Mostly for the convenience’s sake. We don’t want to be bothered by emotional trauma or physical discomfort or public humiliation.
Look at some children around you today. This is who you are killing when you get abortion – not things, not even masses of tissue with potential. We are talking about lives with souls.
Did you know that at about:
18 days – the mouth of the baby begin to open
24 days – arms and legs begin to take shape
42 days – fingers are forming on the hand
67 days – hair is now growing
75 days – the baby is seeing.
If a miracle like this is growing inside you, how could killing it even be an option? In his book “Sex: It’s worth waiting for”, Greg Speck says: “Do you know what I wish for? I wish people had a little window to the womb. If people could only see babies in the womb, babies that are connected to their mothers, they wouldn’t so quickly take a life away from them”.
At least 50 percent of all individuals who go into an abortion clinic never come out alive. They say it’s a safe procedure for mothers, but it’s deadly for your baby.
CAUSES OF ABORTION
1. Fear for financial difficulty to raise the child
2. Fear to what people or parents might think or say
3. Fear to the 9 months of pregnancy and to the pain during the labor
4. health problems
5. Rape
6. Hormonal contraceptives and so many more
7. Unwanted pregnancy: Let me emphasize that I don’t believe any pregnancy is unwanted for singles because if you don’t want it, you wouldn’t involve yourself in sex whether protected or not. The only means I believe, of not getting pregnant is by staying chaste.
The main problem of abortion is psychological and is fear.
Although, some of these causes might look genuine but it is never a reason why you should kill your own baby or why you should advice someone to terminate a life.
METHODS OF ABORTION
Would you like to know what your child goes through if he/she is aborted? (I didn’t use “it” because; it is meant for animals but your child is human). Here is some info, but let me first warn you that this isn’t pretty, and reading about these methods could cause some emotional trauma, especially if you or someone you know has already had an abortion. If you know you might not be able to stand the pain reading these methods of abortion could bring, I would advice you shouldn’t bother going far, you can stop at this point.
Ways to do abortion
1. SUCTION ASPIRATION: The abortionist first paralyzes the cervix (womb opening). He then inserts a hollow plastic tube with knife – like tip into the uterus. The tube is connected to a powerful with a suction force 29 times more powerful than a home vacuum cleaner. The procedure tears the baby’s body into pieces and hose the frequency jerks as pieces of the baby become lodged. The placenta is then cut from the inner wall of the uterus and the scraps are sucked out into a bottle. As the baby head can’t pass through the womb, it is introduced into the womb an instrument that compresses the little head and then takes it out.
2. DILATATION AND CURETAGE: This is similar to the suction aspiration except that the abortionist inserts a curette (a hook – shaped steel knife) into the uterus, which is used to cut the baby into pieces. The baby is then smashed and scraped from the wall of the uterus out through the cervix and discarded. As you can imagine, bleeding is usually profuse.
3. DILATATION AND EVACUATION: This method is usually performed after the third month. Instead of the hook – shaped knife usually used in D&C abortions, a pair forceps (just like the shape of pliers) is inserted into the womb to grasp part of the fetus. The teeth of the forceps twist and tear the bones of the unborn child. This process is repeated until the fetus is totally dismembered and remove. Usually the spine must be snapped and the skull crushed in order to remove them.
4. SAALINE INJECTION (SALT POISONING): This procedure is usually done after four months. Why? Because a certain amount of fluid needs to have built up in the sac around the baby. A long needle is thrust through the abdomen into the sac. The abortionist will suck out some of the fluid and then inject a salt solution. The baby will swallow this.
The child starts to jerk and kick, suffering severely because they are literally being burned alive by the solution inside the womb. If there ever ought to be a safe, protected place, it should be the womb. I wish both parents had to watch this procedure.
It will take the child more than an hour to die. If the woman has been pregnant for five months or longer, she will feel the baby fighting and kicking to live.
Usually within 24 hours, she will go into labor and deliver this tortured baby, dead, with skin burned away. But there is another problem. After all that suffering, the baby may still be born alive. Imagine wanting to live that much. The abortionist will sometimes take this poor burned baby and place it in a corner unattended to. Many times they will place a towel over the baby’s face to induce suffocation, so that the baby will die. I think in other situations we would call this murder.
5. PROSTAGLADIN ABORTION: This is a hormone that induces labor. This form of abortion uses chemicals which cause the uterus to contract intensely, pushing out the developing baby. The contractions are more violent than normal natural contractions, so the baby dies from trauma of delivery. Many, however, have also been born alive.
6. RU – 486: This is a drug that produces an abortion taken after the mother misses her period. Its effect is to block a crucial hormone that causes the uterine lining to no longer provide food, fluid, and oxygen to the baby. Without this hormone the baby can’t survive. When the abortion is complete the mother will see a tiny blob of tissue – her baby. (Note that RU – 486 is not a contraceptive because it does not prevent fertilization or implantation. It is used only after the mother missed her period and the baby is at least two to three weeks old).
I hope you see how sick and wrong is it to abort your baby. This is like a medieval torture. Notice that I do not call these people that perform abortions doctors, because doctor takes a pledge to protect life, and these people make a living by killing babies. (They are murderers).
CONSEQUENCES OF ABORTION
Physical Consequences:
1. Drugs containing RU – 486 can cause liver damage, kidney destruction, heart muscle compromise, pulmonary failure, gastrointestinal pathology, and bone marrow suppression. It has also been reported to cause loss of speech function, strokes, and convulsion.
2. An increase risk of breast, cervical, ovarian and liver cancer
3. Complications, such as uterine perforation, cervical laceration, and placenta previa can not only cause very severe problems, but they can also lead to problems in future pregnancies, such as miscarriages, premature births, fetal deaths and children born with handicaps because any problem or change with a woman’s reproductive organ may affect the development of her children.
4. Infection, including pelvic inflammatory disease, occurs in 30% of abortions; if not stopped soon enough, they can leave a woman barren.
5. Tremendous increase in the level of promiscuity and sexually transmitted diseases
6. Up to 127% risk for premature births in subsequent pregnancies; the rate is higher with multiple abortions
7. Death
Psychological consequences
1. Diminished respect for human life
2. Denial, guilt, sadness, and grieving at the death of the aborted baby that would be a woman’s natural, feminine feelings and emotions
3. Psychological reactions like alcoholism, smoking, drug abuse, sexual addictions, and self destructive behavior.
4. Post abortion syndrome: depression to suicide or attempted suicide
5. Overwhelming feelings of regret or guilt during later pregnancies
6. Flashback and nightmares
7. Destruction of trust between men and women
8. Increased rates of divorce, domestic violence and child abuse
9. feelings of guilt or regret among fathers
To read more about methods of abortion, visit www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/ or www.anael.org/english/abortion/
Thanks.
I love you
@ Maximum Impact Network, we vote for Sexual Purity
Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew
(Visionary, Maximum Impact Network)
DEDICATION
[To every girls, ladies, women who had one time or the other commit abortion
To every ladies who are thinking of getting an abortion
To every guys who see abortion as the best option of not being a teenage father
To every abortionist who takes lives without having a rethink
To every parents who advice, suggest, support abortion for themselves or their children]
EVERYONE IS HURT BY ABORTION
EVERYONE IS HURT BY ABORTION
Here is a poem by a young woman who had an abortion:
The tables they turned so quickly,
I was left with no time for thought.
I’m not sure why I did it,
For regret is all it brought.
I gave in for their reasons
Because I had none for myself.
I heard the life inside me
Would be gone with nothing left.
I and the baby entered together,
Left alone once we were inside.
I asked for this last time together
Before the baby of mine would die.
I wondered if the baby could hear me
And knew this choice wasn’t really mine.
Then just as I whispered, “I’m sorry,”
I heard a knock and knew it was time.
The pain I felt had made me scream
It was more than I could take
But nothing could prepare me
For the emptiness that took its place.
Here is a poem by a young woman who had an abortion:
The tables they turned so quickly,
I was left with no time for thought.
I’m not sure why I did it,
For regret is all it brought.
I gave in for their reasons
Because I had none for myself.
I heard the life inside me
Would be gone with nothing left.
I and the baby entered together,
Left alone once we were inside.
I asked for this last time together
Before the baby of mine would die.
I wondered if the baby could hear me
And knew this choice wasn’t really mine.
Then just as I whispered, “I’m sorry,”
I heard a knock and knew it was time.
The pain I felt had made me scream
It was more than I could take
But nothing could prepare me
For the emptiness that took its place.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
ALCOHOL AND SEX
Alcohol is a colourless volatile flammable liquid which is the intoxicating constituent of wine, beer, spirits etc. This means that beers and wine in their own self are not alcohol but they contain alcohol.
So, what is the correlation between alcohol and sex?
There is an intimate relationship between sex and alcohol. Many people use alcohol to “loosen themselves up” in anticipation of having sex with a new partner, and it is a commonly held belief that alcohol is an aphrodisiac. i.e it stimulates sexual desire. Alcohol consumption has a number of effects on sexual intercourse and sexual behavior. The effects of alcohol are a balance between its suppressive effects on sexual physiology, which will decrease sexual activity, and its suppression of psychological inhibitions, which will increase the desire for sex.
Sexual effects of alcohol are complicated, and there are many serious negative sexual consequences of drinking too much and drinking too often.
Alcohol is a depressant. After consumption, alcohol causes the body’s systems to slow down. Often, feelings of drunkenness are associated with elation and happiness but other feelings of anger or depression can arise. Balance, judgment, and coordination are also negatively affected. One of the most significant side effects of alcohol is reduced inhibition. Reduced inhibitions can lead to an increase in sexual behavior.
What are the effects of alcohol on one’s sexual life?
1. Alcohol is a mind altering substance that makes you do things you won’t ordinarily do, with people you won’t ordinarily like to be seen with.
2. Chronic intake of alcohol makes one find it difficult to maintain a long term relationship, it causes depression and social isolation
3. Alcohol has a “dis - inhibiting” effect, which can make people “loosen up” and feel more comfortable initiating or engaging in sex.
4. Alcohol may make you feel more socially confident and in small quantities may facilitate more socializing and sexual communication.
5. At the same time, research shows that even after a few drinks sexual response is reduced.
6. In large amounts alcohol makes sex difficult to impossible. While in moderate amounts alcohol can have an impact on engaging in risky sexual behavior, although this impact is not fully understood.
7. As drinking increases both men and women will experience a reduction in sexual arousal, men may have difficulty getting erections, and both men and women may have difficulty experiencing orgasm.
8. Erectile disorders and dysfunction in men
9. Loss of sexual desire, significant decrease in sexual arousal for men and women
10. Difficulty experiencing orgasm for men and women.
Read more from this site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_and_sex
Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise (Proverbs 20:1).
I love you.
@ Maximum Impact, we vote for sexual Purity
Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew
[For those men and women who believed that alcohol helps them perform well and to those guys and ladies who drinks at every opportunity to boost their ego]
So, what is the correlation between alcohol and sex?
There is an intimate relationship between sex and alcohol. Many people use alcohol to “loosen themselves up” in anticipation of having sex with a new partner, and it is a commonly held belief that alcohol is an aphrodisiac. i.e it stimulates sexual desire. Alcohol consumption has a number of effects on sexual intercourse and sexual behavior. The effects of alcohol are a balance between its suppressive effects on sexual physiology, which will decrease sexual activity, and its suppression of psychological inhibitions, which will increase the desire for sex.
Sexual effects of alcohol are complicated, and there are many serious negative sexual consequences of drinking too much and drinking too often.
Alcohol is a depressant. After consumption, alcohol causes the body’s systems to slow down. Often, feelings of drunkenness are associated with elation and happiness but other feelings of anger or depression can arise. Balance, judgment, and coordination are also negatively affected. One of the most significant side effects of alcohol is reduced inhibition. Reduced inhibitions can lead to an increase in sexual behavior.
What are the effects of alcohol on one’s sexual life?
1. Alcohol is a mind altering substance that makes you do things you won’t ordinarily do, with people you won’t ordinarily like to be seen with.
2. Chronic intake of alcohol makes one find it difficult to maintain a long term relationship, it causes depression and social isolation
3. Alcohol has a “dis - inhibiting” effect, which can make people “loosen up” and feel more comfortable initiating or engaging in sex.
4. Alcohol may make you feel more socially confident and in small quantities may facilitate more socializing and sexual communication.
5. At the same time, research shows that even after a few drinks sexual response is reduced.
6. In large amounts alcohol makes sex difficult to impossible. While in moderate amounts alcohol can have an impact on engaging in risky sexual behavior, although this impact is not fully understood.
7. As drinking increases both men and women will experience a reduction in sexual arousal, men may have difficulty getting erections, and both men and women may have difficulty experiencing orgasm.
8. Erectile disorders and dysfunction in men
9. Loss of sexual desire, significant decrease in sexual arousal for men and women
10. Difficulty experiencing orgasm for men and women.
Read more from this site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_and_sex
Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise (Proverbs 20:1).
I love you.
@ Maximum Impact, we vote for sexual Purity
Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew
[For those men and women who believed that alcohol helps them perform well and to those guys and ladies who drinks at every opportunity to boost their ego]
Saturday, May 14, 2011
SAFE SEX - II
SAFE SEX (Part II)
First of all, I will like us to see the meaning of the word “SAFE” as defined by different dictionaries:
Webster’s Dictionary
Free from harm
Free from injury
Free from risk or danger
Oxford Concise English Dictionary
Protected from or not exposed to danger or risk; not likely to be harmed or lost
Not causing or leading to harm or injury
Uninjured; with no harm done
Encarta Dictionaries
Not dangerous
Unharmed or undamaged
Unlikely to cause trouble
When safe is put together with sex, the message is you can engage in sex that is free from harm, sex that is free from injury, sex that is free from risk or danger, sex that is unlikely to cause trouble. And the only sex that can guarantee that is ABSTINENCE.
When asked about the best way to prevent pregnancy and STDs, most people will say condoms. But have you ever read a condom package? The manufacturers won’t say that their product prevents anything. What you can get is “If used properly, latex condoms help to reduce the risk of transmission of HIV infection (AIDS) and many other sexually transmitted diseases. Also highly effective against pregnancy. Caution: This product contains natural rubber latex which may cause allergic reactions”. I don’t have to open a dictionary to let you know that “help” means assist and “reduce” means lower. When put together, it says, “Assist in lowering”. It doesn’t sound like “prevent” which means stop.
Few days back, I shared on my facebook wall about a guy who called me he was at Maximum Impact Valentine program held on 13th February this year, where I spoke on SAFE SEX. He called and said, “I started having sex at 18 and now I’m 27, I just called to let you know that I agree with the fact that condoms are not safe; my three living kids and two aborted babies were all conceived while I was using condoms”
Then, what is safe about condoms?
It is estimated that there are 42 million people in the world living with HIV and that 3.2 million of them are under the age of 15. It is also estimated that 24.8 million people have died from complications directly related to AIDS. Although, HIV can be contracted through other means but 80% of those that are infected caught it through sex.
STDs are not something that happens to other people. They are consequences of somebody’s actions, and they can happen to you. The odds are that if you choose to do it before you get married; you may as well stop asking if you are going to get an STD and start asking which one you are to contract among the more than 25 STDs. And the truth is that STDs don’t just inconvenience you. They don’t only cost you in terms of medical bills, discomfort and embarrassment. They can kill you.
What I have observed is that highly addicted people do not think right and don’t care what happen to them and their partner whenever they are in the mood, or why would any caring person put his/her family at risk? How would you feel if one of your parents were to put your entire family at risk by committing adultery?
In her book “The Naked truth about sex”, Lakita Garth shared a told a story of two girls she met at a store. These girls work behind the counter and were talking about what kind of birth control to get – whether an IUD (Intrauterine device), a Depo – provera injection or the patch. And then she interrupted, “what happens when you get AIDS? How is the patch gonna help you?”
The truth is that the chances of getting an STD are greater than the chances of pregnancy. You can do the patch, the pill, the slot or some other form of birth control but none of them are a 100% effective in preventing pregnancy, and none of them are 100% effective in preventing STDs. The only way to guarantee that you will not get pregnant or contract an STD is abstinence.
The only true way that guarantees you won’t get pregnant and that you won’t be infected with HIV or other STDs is saving sex until marriage and that is ABSTINENCE.
I love you
Adedoyin Matthew
(For the lady that sent me a text that "What if she decide not to stay purify and for the lady who my encounter with her (though sad and regrettable) cause a positive transformation in my life)
First of all, I will like us to see the meaning of the word “SAFE” as defined by different dictionaries:
Webster’s Dictionary
Free from harm
Free from injury
Free from risk or danger
Oxford Concise English Dictionary
Protected from or not exposed to danger or risk; not likely to be harmed or lost
Not causing or leading to harm or injury
Uninjured; with no harm done
Encarta Dictionaries
Not dangerous
Unharmed or undamaged
Unlikely to cause trouble
When safe is put together with sex, the message is you can engage in sex that is free from harm, sex that is free from injury, sex that is free from risk or danger, sex that is unlikely to cause trouble. And the only sex that can guarantee that is ABSTINENCE.
When asked about the best way to prevent pregnancy and STDs, most people will say condoms. But have you ever read a condom package? The manufacturers won’t say that their product prevents anything. What you can get is “If used properly, latex condoms help to reduce the risk of transmission of HIV infection (AIDS) and many other sexually transmitted diseases. Also highly effective against pregnancy. Caution: This product contains natural rubber latex which may cause allergic reactions”. I don’t have to open a dictionary to let you know that “help” means assist and “reduce” means lower. When put together, it says, “Assist in lowering”. It doesn’t sound like “prevent” which means stop.
Few days back, I shared on my facebook wall about a guy who called me he was at Maximum Impact Valentine program held on 13th February this year, where I spoke on SAFE SEX. He called and said, “I started having sex at 18 and now I’m 27, I just called to let you know that I agree with the fact that condoms are not safe; my three living kids and two aborted babies were all conceived while I was using condoms”
Then, what is safe about condoms?
It is estimated that there are 42 million people in the world living with HIV and that 3.2 million of them are under the age of 15. It is also estimated that 24.8 million people have died from complications directly related to AIDS. Although, HIV can be contracted through other means but 80% of those that are infected caught it through sex.
STDs are not something that happens to other people. They are consequences of somebody’s actions, and they can happen to you. The odds are that if you choose to do it before you get married; you may as well stop asking if you are going to get an STD and start asking which one you are to contract among the more than 25 STDs. And the truth is that STDs don’t just inconvenience you. They don’t only cost you in terms of medical bills, discomfort and embarrassment. They can kill you.
What I have observed is that highly addicted people do not think right and don’t care what happen to them and their partner whenever they are in the mood, or why would any caring person put his/her family at risk? How would you feel if one of your parents were to put your entire family at risk by committing adultery?
In her book “The Naked truth about sex”, Lakita Garth shared a told a story of two girls she met at a store. These girls work behind the counter and were talking about what kind of birth control to get – whether an IUD (Intrauterine device), a Depo – provera injection or the patch. And then she interrupted, “what happens when you get AIDS? How is the patch gonna help you?”
The truth is that the chances of getting an STD are greater than the chances of pregnancy. You can do the patch, the pill, the slot or some other form of birth control but none of them are a 100% effective in preventing pregnancy, and none of them are 100% effective in preventing STDs. The only way to guarantee that you will not get pregnant or contract an STD is abstinence.
The only true way that guarantees you won’t get pregnant and that you won’t be infected with HIV or other STDs is saving sex until marriage and that is ABSTINENCE.
I love you
Adedoyin Matthew
(For the lady that sent me a text that "What if she decide not to stay purify and for the lady who my encounter with her (though sad and regrettable) cause a positive transformation in my life)
SAFE SEX
SAFE SEX
SEX is a covenant exchange of two people in marriage environment for the purpose of unity and procreation. Sex is a covenant exchange not a convenient exchange. It is meant for Re - Creation (Creating new offspring) and not Recreation (Refreshment of the mind and body after work). It is meant for a matured man and a woman in marriage environment. One fact I never forget telling my audience whenever I’m speaking on Sexual Purity is that “The more a man’s need for sex is satisfied outside marriage, the less need he has for marriage”.
FEW FACTS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX
1. Two of four girls have had sex during their teenage years.Teenage girls account for over 1 million births annually in Nigeria.
2. 46% of 18 year - olds and 57% of 19 year – olds have had sexual intercourse.
3. High percentage of our young ladies commit abortion before 19
4. 57% lost virginity in secondary school, 79% lost virginity at the end of university education
5. One of three boys between 15 – 19 years have had sex.
6. As at 1963, we had just two STDs – Gonorrhea and Syphilis but today we have more than 25 STDs due to increase in pre –marital and extra marital sex
REASONS
Below are few reasons why young people engage in pre – marital sex:
1. Nature or Biology: Research and history has shown that menstruation in girls and wet dreams in boys reduces by 3months every decade which is one of the reasons why young people engage in sex. After every ten years, puberty occur three months younger. That is the reason why we find a teenager who is not more than 10 years menstruating in the 21st century, which was never like that some 20 to 30 years ago. I remembered when I was in High school, we were taught that puberty in girls begin from 12 to 13 and 14 to 16 in boys. But during my research I found out that puberty begins between 9 (for those who have rapid growth) and 12 in girls and 12 to 14 in boys, which in the next 30 years might occur earlier.
2. A sex – saturated society: Another reason there is increase in pre – marital sex is because our environment is a sex saturated one. Sex is used to sell everything. Pornographic films are the best selling films, there is more pornographic site on the internet, and even our media promote sex. We see nudity everywhere from advertisement to home movie etc
3. Lack of parental supervision and direction
4. Contradictory Messages: Contradictory messages like “No Sex until you’re married”. “No sex unless you’re older”. “No sex unless you’re protected”. “No sex unless you’re in love”. Young people tend to follow the one that suit them most because they are confused.
5. Financial Problem: The major problem why many singles engage in pre marital sex is due to financial problem. Many female teenagers are willing to give their virginity to that guy as long as he is taking care of their responsibilities. They have forgotten that their VIRGINITY IS THEIR DIGNITY AND PRIDE. You are worth more than any amount he/she is paying to sleep with you. No matter how low your financial status maybe, it’s not a reason for you to give up your virginity and body for recreation because sex is not meant for recreation, it’s meant for unity and procreation.
6. Loneliness: Loneliness is not the absent of people but the refusal to relate to people. Most times, lonely people keep trying to fill the “hollow” in their lives by getting into one relationship after another thereby changing sexual partner.
7. Low self esteem: A person with low self esteem is prone to doing “anything” to hold on to whoever he/she is dating or courting. They don’t understand their self worth, therefore they tend to respond to whatsoever they other partner demands.
Due to this alarming and sad increase in sexually transmitted diseases, some group of scientist came up with different protective methods to reduce the risk of contracting the disease. They decided to use these protections as a means of having safe sex, but my question is “IS PROTECTION REALLY PROTECTIVE”?
I will like us to focus on the use of condom in this note. Is the use of condom really safe?
Condom is a close – fitting rubber covering worn by a man over the penis or a woman inside the vagina during sexual intercourse to prevent pregnancy or the spread of sexually transmitted disease - Encarta Dictionaries
A condom is a barrier device most commonly used during sexual intercourse to reduce the probability of pregnancy and spreading sexually transmitted diseases – Wikipedia
Condom was originally made for birth control between married couples but in one American survey, 100 couples were asked to use condom as a means of preventing pregnancy, before the end of the first year about 34 came back with pregnancy because condoms are only 87% effective in preventing pregnancy and 69% effective in reducing the risk of HIV infection. If condom cannot prevent pregnancy which it was originally made for (100%), how much then can it prevent HIV? 15% of married couples who use condoms for birth control end up with an unplanned pregnancy within the first year.
The British standards institute permits up to 3 out of 100 condoms to have holes in them when they leave the factory while in America, government allows 4.
Recent research proved that the female condoms have holes of about 5 micron, while HIV is just 0.1 micron.
If we say using condom is a means of safe sex, what is really safe about it then if it has all these defects? The question I asked one anti – AIDS group who advices the use of condom as a means of protecting oneself from contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases was that “If I am your Boyfriend and you happen to know I am infected with HIV, would you sleep with me if I asked you to, even when I want to use condom?” Guess her response? God forbid, that was all she could say. Similar question was thrown to some sex educators who preach the use of condom during one of my seminar with them, none of them would be willing to risk their lives. If condom could not erase the fear of contracting HIV and STDs from the preachers of condom, then why do they advice us to use it?
What is the true safe sex?
Saving sex for marriage is the only safe sex. By saving your sex for marriage, you are abstaining and living a sexual pure life.
Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and, most importantly, honors God.
Abstinence is not the best safe sex; it is the ONLY TRUE SAFE SEX.
@ Maximum Impact Network, we vote for Sexual Purity
Thanks.
I love you
Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew
[For Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew who was sexually abuse at a tender age and later became a sex addict but now preaches Abstinence only and Sexual Purity as it relates to the leadership potential embedded in us even before we were born. Also for ‘femi Owolabi who motivated me to publish this.
WATCH OUT FOR THE COMPLETE BOOK SOON]
SEX is a covenant exchange of two people in marriage environment for the purpose of unity and procreation. Sex is a covenant exchange not a convenient exchange. It is meant for Re - Creation (Creating new offspring) and not Recreation (Refreshment of the mind and body after work). It is meant for a matured man and a woman in marriage environment. One fact I never forget telling my audience whenever I’m speaking on Sexual Purity is that “The more a man’s need for sex is satisfied outside marriage, the less need he has for marriage”.
FEW FACTS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX
1. Two of four girls have had sex during their teenage years.Teenage girls account for over 1 million births annually in Nigeria.
2. 46% of 18 year - olds and 57% of 19 year – olds have had sexual intercourse.
3. High percentage of our young ladies commit abortion before 19
4. 57% lost virginity in secondary school, 79% lost virginity at the end of university education
5. One of three boys between 15 – 19 years have had sex.
6. As at 1963, we had just two STDs – Gonorrhea and Syphilis but today we have more than 25 STDs due to increase in pre –marital and extra marital sex
REASONS
Below are few reasons why young people engage in pre – marital sex:
1. Nature or Biology: Research and history has shown that menstruation in girls and wet dreams in boys reduces by 3months every decade which is one of the reasons why young people engage in sex. After every ten years, puberty occur three months younger. That is the reason why we find a teenager who is not more than 10 years menstruating in the 21st century, which was never like that some 20 to 30 years ago. I remembered when I was in High school, we were taught that puberty in girls begin from 12 to 13 and 14 to 16 in boys. But during my research I found out that puberty begins between 9 (for those who have rapid growth) and 12 in girls and 12 to 14 in boys, which in the next 30 years might occur earlier.
2. A sex – saturated society: Another reason there is increase in pre – marital sex is because our environment is a sex saturated one. Sex is used to sell everything. Pornographic films are the best selling films, there is more pornographic site on the internet, and even our media promote sex. We see nudity everywhere from advertisement to home movie etc
3. Lack of parental supervision and direction
4. Contradictory Messages: Contradictory messages like “No Sex until you’re married”. “No sex unless you’re older”. “No sex unless you’re protected”. “No sex unless you’re in love”. Young people tend to follow the one that suit them most because they are confused.
5. Financial Problem: The major problem why many singles engage in pre marital sex is due to financial problem. Many female teenagers are willing to give their virginity to that guy as long as he is taking care of their responsibilities. They have forgotten that their VIRGINITY IS THEIR DIGNITY AND PRIDE. You are worth more than any amount he/she is paying to sleep with you. No matter how low your financial status maybe, it’s not a reason for you to give up your virginity and body for recreation because sex is not meant for recreation, it’s meant for unity and procreation.
6. Loneliness: Loneliness is not the absent of people but the refusal to relate to people. Most times, lonely people keep trying to fill the “hollow” in their lives by getting into one relationship after another thereby changing sexual partner.
7. Low self esteem: A person with low self esteem is prone to doing “anything” to hold on to whoever he/she is dating or courting. They don’t understand their self worth, therefore they tend to respond to whatsoever they other partner demands.
Due to this alarming and sad increase in sexually transmitted diseases, some group of scientist came up with different protective methods to reduce the risk of contracting the disease. They decided to use these protections as a means of having safe sex, but my question is “IS PROTECTION REALLY PROTECTIVE”?
I will like us to focus on the use of condom in this note. Is the use of condom really safe?
Condom is a close – fitting rubber covering worn by a man over the penis or a woman inside the vagina during sexual intercourse to prevent pregnancy or the spread of sexually transmitted disease - Encarta Dictionaries
A condom is a barrier device most commonly used during sexual intercourse to reduce the probability of pregnancy and spreading sexually transmitted diseases – Wikipedia
Condom was originally made for birth control between married couples but in one American survey, 100 couples were asked to use condom as a means of preventing pregnancy, before the end of the first year about 34 came back with pregnancy because condoms are only 87% effective in preventing pregnancy and 69% effective in reducing the risk of HIV infection. If condom cannot prevent pregnancy which it was originally made for (100%), how much then can it prevent HIV? 15% of married couples who use condoms for birth control end up with an unplanned pregnancy within the first year.
The British standards institute permits up to 3 out of 100 condoms to have holes in them when they leave the factory while in America, government allows 4.
Recent research proved that the female condoms have holes of about 5 micron, while HIV is just 0.1 micron.
If we say using condom is a means of safe sex, what is really safe about it then if it has all these defects? The question I asked one anti – AIDS group who advices the use of condom as a means of protecting oneself from contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases was that “If I am your Boyfriend and you happen to know I am infected with HIV, would you sleep with me if I asked you to, even when I want to use condom?” Guess her response? God forbid, that was all she could say. Similar question was thrown to some sex educators who preach the use of condom during one of my seminar with them, none of them would be willing to risk their lives. If condom could not erase the fear of contracting HIV and STDs from the preachers of condom, then why do they advice us to use it?
What is the true safe sex?
Saving sex for marriage is the only safe sex. By saving your sex for marriage, you are abstaining and living a sexual pure life.
Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and, most importantly, honors God.
Abstinence is not the best safe sex; it is the ONLY TRUE SAFE SEX.
@ Maximum Impact Network, we vote for Sexual Purity
Thanks.
I love you
Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew
[For Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew who was sexually abuse at a tender age and later became a sex addict but now preaches Abstinence only and Sexual Purity as it relates to the leadership potential embedded in us even before we were born. Also for ‘femi Owolabi who motivated me to publish this.
WATCH OUT FOR THE COMPLETE BOOK SOON]
Friday, April 15, 2011
CONFRONTING THE FUTURE
FACING YOUR TOMORROW
I started elementary school in 1991. Though I was a kid but I could remember the proprietor said,” You are the leaders of tomorrow. If you know you want to be a Doctor, Banker, President, Engineer etc, you have to study very hard”. As a kid then, even though I don’t understand what he meant, I had no choice than to agree with him. As I continue to grow, everybody, everything, my parents, my environment, animate and inanimate things begin to tell me the same thing, even to the end of my secondary education.
After attempting Jamb for more than four times, I was eventually, admitted into the school of first choice and the nation’s pride – University of Lagos. I could remember vividly during the orientation program when the vice chancellor mentioned again “You’re the leaders of tomorrow, work hard so that you won’t graduate before your time or after your time”. My mind was troubled. I began to ask myself, “Matthew, when will tomorrow come? If you are truly the leader of tomorrow, why are you not a leader yet since 1991 when you were first told that you are a leader?
After pondering on these questions for several weeks, I concluded that since 1991, now is 2011, 20 years gone, tomorrow will never come because yesterday’s tomorrow is TODAY, i.e, Today is the tomorrow we talked about yesterday which means TODAY IS THE FUTURE they have been talking about and I and you are the LEADERS OF TODAY but to attain that leadership position we’ve to work very hard, be very smart, solve problems, be ahead of our mates, be part of the change of our environment and add value to peoples’ lives.
My objective is to tell you how to confront your future, how to face tomorrow but I am introducing this just to inform those who still think the future is far that the FUTURE OR TOMORROW is NOW.
So, how can you face tomorrow?
- CONFRONT YOUR FEAR OR AVOID IT: We don’t step out because we’re afraid of failure. Some people are afraid of everything – the fear of dieing, the fear of not getting rich, the fear of not getting married, the fear of not passing exams, the fear of not knowing what tomorrow holds and some much more.
The fear of not measuring up to perfection has kept many gifted people idle when they should have acted. Joseph overcame this fear because he believes the value he’d add if he was right outweighs the price he’d pay if he was wrong. His life was on the line, but he ventured out to offer wisdom to pharaoh, who desperately needed it. The only way you can confront your fear is by acting right when you ought to. You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future.
- MAKE YOUR PASSION YOUR PROFESSION: Passion energizes your talent. Do not study a course or learn a vocation because your parents, friends, relatives want you to. Study or learn what you are passionate about, develop more skills in your talent, be competent and you will win people for yourself. I know of a man who love photography but because his dad wants him to become engineer ventured into engineering school. His five years was just a repetition of failure until he withdrew his admission to start up in a photography school. Today, he is the richest photographer in the world. Before he went for the photography school, he told his Dad ‘’I may not earn much like the engineers, I may not live in a big house, I may not drive the best cars but I’ll be happy and fulfilled because I’m going to be one of the best photographers rather than making the worst engineer’’ .
- AVOID MENTAL PRESSURE: Another way to confront your future is by avoiding mental pressure. Even when the world is throwing you unfavorable conditions, do not give room for mental pressure. Our brain is elastic and it can assimilate more only if we can think , read and willing to know more, but pressurizing the brain is not the same as utilizing the brain. I know of a guy who committed suicide due to mental pressure. After spending seven years in school and his result did not reflect his effort, he felt he had no choice than to quit, and his definition of “QUIT” is committing suicide. Take it slowly, talk to people, think of a way out and the future will be delivered to you.
- ADD VALUE TO PEOPLE: Many in our world think the leader must be the biggest, strongest, and most intimidating person in a room. I am bold to tell you that’s a lie. Leaders are motivated by service, not power. You add value to others by serving them, not by lording it over them. To be the leader you want to be, you should first be subjected to God, then live by example, then a proclaimer and communicator to the people. Also, learn to put others first, be other – centered according to John C. Maxwell, solve people’s problem or help them find solution to their individual or organizational problem. Adding value to people makes you look indispensable even though you are dispensable; it brings wealth to your door step and delivers the future in to your hands.
- LIVE TODAY TO ITS FULLEST: Determine and act on important priorities. Like I shared at Maximum Impact Network (An organization which I facilitate) few months ago, “If you spent 8 hours of your day talking, gossiping or sleeping, you have spent one third of your day on those things, that means by the time you are 30 years old, you’ve just spent 10 years of your lives talking, gossiping or sleeping”. My Challenge to you is what do you do with your time? Time is the essence of life. Successful people don’t waste time because they understood that time wasted is life wasted, time wasted is money wasted, and time wasted is opportunity wasted. Learn to plan your day ahead and do not involve yourself in event or activity you never planned for. There’s never enough time to do everything, but there’s always enough time to do the most important things. You can make time your friend if you can beat it.
- DRESS LIKE THE LEADER YOU WANT TO BE: People usually form their opinions about you within 30 seconds of meeting you. Like Steve Harris always says, “You won’t be addressed like a prospect if you dress like a suspect”. Dressing is a reflection of who you are and the home you come from. You want to become the CEO of an organization, why don’t start dressing like one now? Dress the way you want to be address and if you must bare anything bare your dress sense. You don’t have to buy the most expensive wears but endeavor to look expensive. Present yourself to the world what you want to become through your dressing. I can predict who you are by what you are wearing and how you are wearing it. Dress like that leader, dress like that manager, dress like that CEO, dress like that teacher and dress like that person you want to be. Don’t wait until then start now because now is the future.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
To the Best Grandma in the world on Mothers’ day: Deaconess Abigail Adedoyin
I have been walking with my note pad for more than a week thinking about what to write for the woman I cherish so much but it looks like I am the dullest guy in class 'cause nothing kept coming, until I stumbled through this poem we were forced to memorized back in Primary School. Although, few words where changed to suit the purpose of writing it, just seat back, enjoy it and pass on to every woman you cherish. Just change the last line if she isn't your grandma because I am dedicating it to the Best Grandma in the world on Mothers’ day: Deaconess Abigail Adedoyin and every other women, single, married, divorced, widow who made sure they make tremendous impact in every lives they come across.
When sleep forsook my open eye,
Who was it sung sweet hushaby,
And rocked me that I should not cry?
My Grandma
Who sat and watched my infant head,
When sleeping on my cradle bed,
And tears of sweet affection shed?
My Grandma
When pain and sickness made me cry,
Who gazed upon my heavy eye,
And wept for fear that I should die?
My Grandma
Who dressed me in clothes so attractive,
And taught me pretty how to play.
And minded all I had to say?
My Grandma
Who taught my infant lips to pray,
And love God’s holy book and day.
And walk in Wisdom’s pleasant way?
My Grandma
And can I ever cease to be
Affectionate and kind to thee,
Who was so very kind to me?
My Grandma
Ah, no! The thought I cannot bear;
And if God please my life to spare,
I hope I shall reward thy care,
My Grandma
Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My Grandma
Though thou art feeble, old, and gray,
My healthy arm shall be thy stay,
And I will soothe thy pains away.
My Grandma
And when I see thee hang thy head,
‘Twill be my turn to watch thy bed.
And tears of sweet affection shed,
My Grandma
For could our Father in the skies
Look down with pleased or loving eyes,
If ever I could dare despise
My Grandma
[For the best Grandmother in the world, who has proven herself second to none: Deaconess Abigail Adedoyin. Mama, You are the best. E ma pe laiye, ema fi origi jobi, eti n jeun omo, ema jeun omo omo. Kosi Iku to ma payin te ba ti jeun awa omo omo yin]
When sleep forsook my open eye,
Who was it sung sweet hushaby,
And rocked me that I should not cry?
My Grandma
Who sat and watched my infant head,
When sleeping on my cradle bed,
And tears of sweet affection shed?
My Grandma
When pain and sickness made me cry,
Who gazed upon my heavy eye,
And wept for fear that I should die?
My Grandma
Who dressed me in clothes so attractive,
And taught me pretty how to play.
And minded all I had to say?
My Grandma
Who taught my infant lips to pray,
And love God’s holy book and day.
And walk in Wisdom’s pleasant way?
My Grandma
And can I ever cease to be
Affectionate and kind to thee,
Who was so very kind to me?
My Grandma
Ah, no! The thought I cannot bear;
And if God please my life to spare,
I hope I shall reward thy care,
My Grandma
Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My Grandma
Though thou art feeble, old, and gray,
My healthy arm shall be thy stay,
And I will soothe thy pains away.
My Grandma
And when I see thee hang thy head,
‘Twill be my turn to watch thy bed.
And tears of sweet affection shed,
My Grandma
For could our Father in the skies
Look down with pleased or loving eyes,
If ever I could dare despise
My Grandma
[For the best Grandmother in the world, who has proven herself second to none: Deaconess Abigail Adedoyin. Mama, You are the best. E ma pe laiye, ema fi origi jobi, eti n jeun omo, ema jeun omo omo. Kosi Iku to ma payin te ba ti jeun awa omo omo yin]
Saturday, February 12, 2011
YOU CAN LEAD
Leadership is for everyone because every person who accepts Christ is called to lead and influence others.
Leadership can be defined in varieties, but the best definition of leadership that I’ve ever read, embraced and taught to thousands of people is the definition of J. Osward Sanders in his book “Spiritual leadership”. He simply stated, “LEADERSHIP IS INFLUENCE”. Anyone who can influence either positively or negatively is a leader. The positive influencers are the good leaders while the negative are the bad ones. The explanation for that is a discussion for another day.
It doesn’t matter if you are a parent, a teacher, a pastor, a coach, a boss or even an employee – You are leading others, you are called to influence others and to be a truly effective leader, you must first be able to lead yourself.
Leadership truly develops from the inside out, says leadership expert John C. Maxwell. If you can become the leader you ought to be on the inside, you will be able to become the leader you want to be on the outside and people will want to follow you whether you like it or not.
You and I were created to lead, to have dominion over the earth, which means we’ve been endowed with the ability of leadership even before we were formed in our mother’s womb. The truth is that few people are naturals when it comes to leading others. But everyone has potential. I believe you can lead regardless of your age, gender, marital status, stature or profession.
Research had proved it that introverts have the ability to influence an average of 10, 000 people in their lifetime. Just think about that! If people who have no intention of leading can influence many lives such as that, then what will a person who is intentional about leadership do?
I want you to see yourself as a leader. No matter how strong or weak your leadership potential is, don’t be complacent. You can improve and reach your maximum by the application of discipline to that potential. Believe me, YOU CAN LEAD.
You can, you must, you will.
Together, we can build a desirable Nigeria.
I LOVE YOU.
Adedoyin O. Matthew
Visionary, Maximum Impact Network
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