Sunday, May 29, 2011

ALCOHOL AND SEX

Alcohol is a colourless volatile flammable liquid which is the intoxicating constituent of wine, beer, spirits etc. This means that beers and wine in their own self are not alcohol but they contain alcohol.
So, what is the correlation between alcohol and sex?
There is an intimate relationship between sex and alcohol. Many people use alcohol to “loosen themselves up” in anticipation of having sex with a new partner, and it is a commonly held belief that alcohol is an aphrodisiac. i.e it stimulates sexual desire. Alcohol consumption has a number of effects on sexual intercourse and sexual behavior. The effects of alcohol are a balance between its suppressive effects on sexual physiology, which will decrease sexual activity, and its suppression of psychological inhibitions, which will increase the desire for sex.
Sexual effects of alcohol are complicated, and there are many serious negative sexual consequences of drinking too much and drinking too often.
Alcohol is a depressant. After consumption, alcohol causes the body’s systems to slow down. Often, feelings of drunkenness are associated with elation and happiness but other feelings of anger or depression can arise. Balance, judgment, and coordination are also negatively affected. One of the most significant side effects of alcohol is reduced inhibition. Reduced inhibitions can lead to an increase in sexual behavior.
What are the effects of alcohol on one’s sexual life?
1. Alcohol is a mind altering substance that makes you do things you won’t ordinarily do, with people you won’t ordinarily like to be seen with.
2. Chronic intake of alcohol makes one find it difficult to maintain a long term relationship, it causes depression and social isolation
3. Alcohol has a “dis - inhibiting” effect, which can make people “loosen up” and feel more comfortable initiating or engaging in sex.
4. Alcohol may make you feel more socially confident and in small quantities may facilitate more socializing and sexual communication.
5. At the same time, research shows that even after a few drinks sexual response is reduced.
6. In large amounts alcohol makes sex difficult to impossible. While in moderate amounts alcohol can have an impact on engaging in risky sexual behavior, although this impact is not fully understood.
7. As drinking increases both men and women will experience a reduction in sexual arousal, men may have difficulty getting erections, and both men and women may have difficulty experiencing orgasm.
8. Erectile disorders and dysfunction in men
9. Loss of sexual desire, significant decrease in sexual arousal for men and women
10. Difficulty experiencing orgasm for men and women.
Read more from this site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_and_sex
Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise (Proverbs 20:1).

I love you.
@ Maximum Impact, we vote for sexual Purity
Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew

[For those men and women who believed that alcohol helps them perform well and to those guys and ladies who drinks at every opportunity to boost their ego]

Saturday, May 14, 2011

MATTHEW ADEDOYIN: SAFE SEX - II

MATTHEW ADEDOYIN: SAFE SEX - II

SAFE SEX - II

SAFE SEX (Part II)



First of all, I will like us to see the meaning of the word “SAFE” as defined by different dictionaries:



Webster’s Dictionary



Free from harm



Free from injury



Free from risk or danger





Oxford Concise English Dictionary





Protected from or not exposed to danger or risk; not likely to be harmed or lost



Not causing or leading to harm or injury



Uninjured; with no harm done





Encarta Dictionaries





Not dangerous



Unharmed or undamaged



Unlikely to cause trouble





When safe is put together with sex, the message is you can engage in sex that is free from harm, sex that is free from injury, sex that is free from risk or danger, sex that is unlikely to cause trouble. And the only sex that can guarantee that is ABSTINENCE.



When asked about the best way to prevent pregnancy and STDs, most people will say condoms. But have you ever read a condom package? The manufacturers won’t say that their product prevents anything. What you can get is “If used properly, latex condoms help to reduce the risk of transmission of HIV infection (AIDS) and many other sexually transmitted diseases. Also highly effective against pregnancy. Caution: This product contains natural rubber latex which may cause allergic reactions”. I don’t have to open a dictionary to let you know that “help” means assist and “reduce” means lower. When put together, it says, “Assist in lowering”. It doesn’t sound like “prevent” which means stop.



Few days back, I shared on my facebook wall about a guy who called me he was at Maximum Impact Valentine program held on 13th February this year, where I spoke on SAFE SEX. He called and said, “I started having sex at 18 and now I’m 27, I just called to let you know that I agree with the fact that condoms are not safe; my three living kids and two aborted babies were all conceived while I was using condoms”



Then, what is safe about condoms?



It is estimated that there are 42 million people in the world living with HIV and that 3.2 million of them are under the age of 15. It is also estimated that 24.8 million people have died from complications directly related to AIDS. Although, HIV can be contracted through other means but 80% of those that are infected caught it through sex.



STDs are not something that happens to other people. They are consequences of somebody’s actions, and they can happen to you. The odds are that if you choose to do it before you get married; you may as well stop asking if you are going to get an STD and start asking which one you are to contract among the more than 25 STDs. And the truth is that STDs don’t just inconvenience you. They don’t only cost you in terms of medical bills, discomfort and embarrassment. They can kill you.



What I have observed is that highly addicted people do not think right and don’t care what happen to them and their partner whenever they are in the mood, or why would any caring person put his/her family at risk? How would you feel if one of your parents were to put your entire family at risk by committing adultery?



In her book “The Naked truth about sex”, Lakita Garth shared a told a story of two girls she met at a store. These girls work behind the counter and were talking about what kind of birth control to get – whether an IUD (Intrauterine device), a Depo – provera injection or the patch. And then she interrupted, “what happens when you get AIDS? How is the patch gonna help you?”



The truth is that the chances of getting an STD are greater than the chances of pregnancy. You can do the patch, the pill, the slot or some other form of birth control but none of them are a 100% effective in preventing pregnancy, and none of them are 100% effective in preventing STDs. The only way to guarantee that you will not get pregnant or contract an STD is abstinence.



The only true way that guarantees you won’t get pregnant and that you won’t be infected with HIV or other STDs is saving sex until marriage and that is ABSTINENCE.



I love you

Adedoyin Matthew





(For the lady that sent me a text that "What if she decide not to stay purify and for the lady who my encounter with her (though sad and regrettable) cause a positive transformation in my life)

SAFE SEX

SAFE SEX

SEX is a covenant exchange of two people in marriage environment for the purpose of unity and procreation. Sex is a covenant exchange not a convenient exchange. It is meant for Re - Creation (Creating new offspring) and not Recreation (Refreshment of the mind and body after work). It is meant for a matured man and a woman in marriage environment. One fact I never forget telling my audience whenever I’m speaking on Sexual Purity is that “The more a man’s need for sex is satisfied outside marriage, the less need he has for marriage”.



FEW FACTS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX



1. Two of four girls have had sex during their teenage years.Teenage girls account for over 1 million births annually in Nigeria.

2. 46% of 18 year - olds and 57% of 19 year – olds have had sexual intercourse.

3. High percentage of our young ladies commit abortion before 19

4. 57% lost virginity in secondary school, 79% lost virginity at the end of university education

5. One of three boys between 15 – 19 years have had sex.

6. As at 1963, we had just two STDs – Gonorrhea and Syphilis but today we have more than 25 STDs due to increase in pre –marital and extra marital sex



REASONS



Below are few reasons why young people engage in pre – marital sex:



1. Nature or Biology: Research and history has shown that menstruation in girls and wet dreams in boys reduces by 3months every decade which is one of the reasons why young people engage in sex. After every ten years, puberty occur three months younger. That is the reason why we find a teenager who is not more than 10 years menstruating in the 21st century, which was never like that some 20 to 30 years ago. I remembered when I was in High school, we were taught that puberty in girls begin from 12 to 13 and 14 to 16 in boys. But during my research I found out that puberty begins between 9 (for those who have rapid growth) and 12 in girls and 12 to 14 in boys, which in the next 30 years might occur earlier.

2. A sex – saturated society: Another reason there is increase in pre – marital sex is because our environment is a sex saturated one. Sex is used to sell everything. Pornographic films are the best selling films, there is more pornographic site on the internet, and even our media promote sex. We see nudity everywhere from advertisement to home movie etc

3. Lack of parental supervision and direction

4. Contradictory Messages: Contradictory messages like “No Sex until you’re married”. “No sex unless you’re older”. “No sex unless you’re protected”. “No sex unless you’re in love”. Young people tend to follow the one that suit them most because they are confused.

5. Financial Problem: The major problem why many singles engage in pre marital sex is due to financial problem. Many female teenagers are willing to give their virginity to that guy as long as he is taking care of their responsibilities. They have forgotten that their VIRGINITY IS THEIR DIGNITY AND PRIDE. You are worth more than any amount he/she is paying to sleep with you. No matter how low your financial status maybe, it’s not a reason for you to give up your virginity and body for recreation because sex is not meant for recreation, it’s meant for unity and procreation.

6. Loneliness: Loneliness is not the absent of people but the refusal to relate to people. Most times, lonely people keep trying to fill the “hollow” in their lives by getting into one relationship after another thereby changing sexual partner.

7. Low self esteem: A person with low self esteem is prone to doing “anything” to hold on to whoever he/she is dating or courting. They don’t understand their self worth, therefore they tend to respond to whatsoever they other partner demands.



Due to this alarming and sad increase in sexually transmitted diseases, some group of scientist came up with different protective methods to reduce the risk of contracting the disease. They decided to use these protections as a means of having safe sex, but my question is “IS PROTECTION REALLY PROTECTIVE”?



I will like us to focus on the use of condom in this note. Is the use of condom really safe?



Condom is a close – fitting rubber covering worn by a man over the penis or a woman inside the vagina during sexual intercourse to prevent pregnancy or the spread of sexually transmitted disease - Encarta Dictionaries



A condom is a barrier device most commonly used during sexual intercourse to reduce the probability of pregnancy and spreading sexually transmitted diseases – Wikipedia



Condom was originally made for birth control between married couples but in one American survey, 100 couples were asked to use condom as a means of preventing pregnancy, before the end of the first year about 34 came back with pregnancy because condoms are only 87% effective in preventing pregnancy and 69% effective in reducing the risk of HIV infection. If condom cannot prevent pregnancy which it was originally made for (100%), how much then can it prevent HIV? 15% of married couples who use condoms for birth control end up with an unplanned pregnancy within the first year.



The British standards institute permits up to 3 out of 100 condoms to have holes in them when they leave the factory while in America, government allows 4.



Recent research proved that the female condoms have holes of about 5 micron, while HIV is just 0.1 micron.



If we say using condom is a means of safe sex, what is really safe about it then if it has all these defects? The question I asked one anti – AIDS group who advices the use of condom as a means of protecting oneself from contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases was that “If I am your Boyfriend and you happen to know I am infected with HIV, would you sleep with me if I asked you to, even when I want to use condom?” Guess her response? God forbid, that was all she could say. Similar question was thrown to some sex educators who preach the use of condom during one of my seminar with them, none of them would be willing to risk their lives. If condom could not erase the fear of contracting HIV and STDs from the preachers of condom, then why do they advice us to use it?



What is the true safe sex?



Saving sex for marriage is the only safe sex. By saving your sex for marriage, you are abstaining and living a sexual pure life.



Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and, most importantly, honors God.



Abstinence is not the best safe sex; it is the ONLY TRUE SAFE SEX.



@ Maximum Impact Network, we vote for Sexual Purity



Thanks.



I love you



Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew





[For Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew who was sexually abuse at a tender age and later became a sex addict but now preaches Abstinence only and Sexual Purity as it relates to the leadership potential embedded in us even before we were born. Also for ‘femi Owolabi who motivated me to publish this.

WATCH OUT FOR THE COMPLETE BOOK SOON]