SAFE SEX

SAFE SEX

SEX is a covenant exchange of two people in marriage environment for the purpose of unity and procreation. Sex is a covenant exchange not a convenient exchange. It is meant for Re - Creation (Creating new offspring) and not Recreation (Refreshment of the mind and body after work). It is meant for a matured man and a woman in marriage environment. One fact I never forget telling my audience whenever I’m speaking on Sexual Purity is that “The more a man’s need for sex is satisfied outside marriage, the less need he has for marriage”.



FEW FACTS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX



1. Two of four girls have had sex during their teenage years.Teenage girls account for over 1 million births annually in Nigeria.

2. 46% of 18 year - olds and 57% of 19 year – olds have had sexual intercourse.

3. High percentage of our young ladies commit abortion before 19

4. 57% lost virginity in secondary school, 79% lost virginity at the end of university education

5. One of three boys between 15 – 19 years have had sex.

6. As at 1963, we had just two STDs – Gonorrhea and Syphilis but today we have more than 25 STDs due to increase in pre –marital and extra marital sex



REASONS



Below are few reasons why young people engage in pre – marital sex:



1. Nature or Biology: Research and history has shown that menstruation in girls and wet dreams in boys reduces by 3months every decade which is one of the reasons why young people engage in sex. After every ten years, puberty occur three months younger. That is the reason why we find a teenager who is not more than 10 years menstruating in the 21st century, which was never like that some 20 to 30 years ago. I remembered when I was in High school, we were taught that puberty in girls begin from 12 to 13 and 14 to 16 in boys. But during my research I found out that puberty begins between 9 (for those who have rapid growth) and 12 in girls and 12 to 14 in boys, which in the next 30 years might occur earlier.

2. A sex – saturated society: Another reason there is increase in pre – marital sex is because our environment is a sex saturated one. Sex is used to sell everything. Pornographic films are the best selling films, there is more pornographic site on the internet, and even our media promote sex. We see nudity everywhere from advertisement to home movie etc

3. Lack of parental supervision and direction

4. Contradictory Messages: Contradictory messages like “No Sex until you’re married”. “No sex unless you’re older”. “No sex unless you’re protected”. “No sex unless you’re in love”. Young people tend to follow the one that suit them most because they are confused.

5. Financial Problem: The major problem why many singles engage in pre marital sex is due to financial problem. Many female teenagers are willing to give their virginity to that guy as long as he is taking care of their responsibilities. They have forgotten that their VIRGINITY IS THEIR DIGNITY AND PRIDE. You are worth more than any amount he/she is paying to sleep with you. No matter how low your financial status maybe, it’s not a reason for you to give up your virginity and body for recreation because sex is not meant for recreation, it’s meant for unity and procreation.

6. Loneliness: Loneliness is not the absent of people but the refusal to relate to people. Most times, lonely people keep trying to fill the “hollow” in their lives by getting into one relationship after another thereby changing sexual partner.

7. Low self esteem: A person with low self esteem is prone to doing “anything” to hold on to whoever he/she is dating or courting. They don’t understand their self worth, therefore they tend to respond to whatsoever they other partner demands.



Due to this alarming and sad increase in sexually transmitted diseases, some group of scientist came up with different protective methods to reduce the risk of contracting the disease. They decided to use these protections as a means of having safe sex, but my question is “IS PROTECTION REALLY PROTECTIVE”?



I will like us to focus on the use of condom in this note. Is the use of condom really safe?



Condom is a close – fitting rubber covering worn by a man over the penis or a woman inside the vagina during sexual intercourse to prevent pregnancy or the spread of sexually transmitted disease - Encarta Dictionaries



A condom is a barrier device most commonly used during sexual intercourse to reduce the probability of pregnancy and spreading sexually transmitted diseases – Wikipedia



Condom was originally made for birth control between married couples but in one American survey, 100 couples were asked to use condom as a means of preventing pregnancy, before the end of the first year about 34 came back with pregnancy because condoms are only 87% effective in preventing pregnancy and 69% effective in reducing the risk of HIV infection. If condom cannot prevent pregnancy which it was originally made for (100%), how much then can it prevent HIV? 15% of married couples who use condoms for birth control end up with an unplanned pregnancy within the first year.



The British standards institute permits up to 3 out of 100 condoms to have holes in them when they leave the factory while in America, government allows 4.



Recent research proved that the female condoms have holes of about 5 micron, while HIV is just 0.1 micron.



If we say using condom is a means of safe sex, what is really safe about it then if it has all these defects? The question I asked one anti – AIDS group who advices the use of condom as a means of protecting oneself from contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases was that “If I am your Boyfriend and you happen to know I am infected with HIV, would you sleep with me if I asked you to, even when I want to use condom?” Guess her response? God forbid, that was all she could say. Similar question was thrown to some sex educators who preach the use of condom during one of my seminar with them, none of them would be willing to risk their lives. If condom could not erase the fear of contracting HIV and STDs from the preachers of condom, then why do they advice us to use it?



What is the true safe sex?



Saving sex for marriage is the only safe sex. By saving your sex for marriage, you are abstaining and living a sexual pure life.



Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and, most importantly, honors God.



Abstinence is not the best safe sex; it is the ONLY TRUE SAFE SEX.



@ Maximum Impact Network, we vote for Sexual Purity



Thanks.



I love you



Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew





[For Adedoyin Oluwafemi Matthew who was sexually abuse at a tender age and later became a sex addict but now preaches Abstinence only and Sexual Purity as it relates to the leadership potential embedded in us even before we were born. Also for ‘femi Owolabi who motivated me to publish this.

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